(We use the word substitute because it will take too much ink and money to actually spell out your last name)
It is now August, and we hope your summer was good. Even though we, as an administration, never acknowledged your hard work all year, left you out of the long list of “thank-you’s” that we gave to the entire faculty AND STAFF of the whole building at the end of the year meeting, we’re writing to you now.
We are writing to you, now, at the beginning of August for a very specific reason.
Even though you have worked for our district for the past three years, even though you have been walked on, and underappreciated, and have been treated as though you are an insignificant fly on the wall of the school, we are mandating that you come in for an interview.
Bring your portfolio. Wear your best shoes. And be prepared to beg for your job back.
It makes us happy to see you squirm.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
The natives are restless. There are now TWO ISS ROOMS. What is this world coming to? Will my sanity be here come June 24th? I most certainly hope so.
All My Love,
Come with me friends, to another school.
Lets call it….Academy of Wealthsnob.
Academy of Wealthsnob has many students, who are, as you might assume, wealthy.
Picture it –
A fifth period AP French class. A new sub, excited to be teaching at the Academy of Wealthsnob.
What happens next you might ask?
The Academy of Wealthsnob students see this new, bright – eyed, naive substitute…and pounce.
What do they do you might ask?
What do they hide you might ask?
They HIDE their CELL PHONES in THE CEILING.
And proceed to call the phones in the ceiling, from the ones that are still in the hands of the cherubic little students that are still in class.
Welcome to Academy of Wealth new substitute, WELCOME.
Johnny has returned to the ISS room. And instead of throwing paper airplanes at me….he switched.
TO PAPER CLIPS.