Tag Archives: education

The week from hell has a new meaning…

Hello Beautiful People,

I promised I’d update you on the horrendous week I had, and, well, here goes it. As many of you know, I had a student light a pencil on fire.  If this does not ring a bell with you, please refer to our FIRE entry. IN ADDITION to children lighting objects on fire for no apparent reason, I had a student call me a “stupid b##ch” on Monday, and, on Wednesday, I was told, “f%$k you”.

Isn’t that NICE?

AREN’T THEY CHERUBIC?

I’m not going to sit here and rant about my students, that is not my attention.  Children will always lash out, that’s why they’re CHILDREN.

I WILL rant about the reaction that I got from my co-workers:

“Oh, he always calls me that.”

“Oh, he says that all the time.”

“I mean, it’s an “alternative” program, what do you expect?”

WHAT DO I EXPECT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?

I’ll tell you what I expect. I expect us to teach them what their parents apparently didn’t.  I expect us to teach them the RIGHT WAY TO TALK TO PEOPLE.  I expect us, to at LEAST TRY to right the wrongs here. That’s what I expect.  I don’t care if I’m teaching in an alternative school, regular school, college…I don’t care if they’re receiving their education in JAIL.  I expect us to educate, and to teach right from wrong.  That’s what I expect, and that is what I will do, despite the eye-rolling I get from those around me.  They’ll ask me why I bother…and do you KNOW WHAT MY RESPONSE WILL BE?

……..because I’m a teacher. 

xo

Ms. Sub

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Filed under Disrespectful, Education, Perspective, the future

Hi, my name is KINDERGARTEN COP…

Hello Friends,

OH BOY! So much catching up do to! As promised, here is my elementary substituting story.  I’ve been subbing in a different district, to try to perhaps get, oh, I don’t know, a salaried teaching job, health insurance, a stable work situation, you know, the usual.  ANYWAY, this district does not have “permanent substitutes”, they only work with per diems, which means that they can put you ANYWHERE THEY WANT.

And yes, that does include the foreign land of elementary school.

When I got the job request, I figured hey, how bad could it be? They’re just kids, right? I mean, what’s that old saying? “Big kids, big problems, little kids, little problems?” I mean, I teach “juvenile delinquents” and I love it! How hard could second grade be? Piece of cake, right?

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

I entered the classroom, and IMMEDIATELY heard the students talking about “how tall” I was, and, naturally, I felt like the giant that landed among the people of Whoville.

I had the students for an hour before they were ushered off to gym.  We read, many books, on the “carpet”.  While on the “carpet”, every single child had a problem:

“He’s touching me!”

“Her foot is on my square!”

“His foot is next to my butt!”

…and so on, and so on.

HOLY F*CKING SH*T HOW DO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHERS DEAL WITH THIS ON A DAILY BASIS!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

My students went to gym, and,  I had a brief moment of reprieve.  That moment was interrupted when the PHYSICAL EDUCATION TEACHER rushed into my classroom.

PHYSICAL EDUCATION TEACHER:  Are you subbing for Ms. M?

ME: Yes…yes, I am.

PHYSICAL EDUCATION TEACHER:  Well, this has not happened to me in thirty years.

ME: WHAT hasn’t happened to you in thirty years?

PHYSICAL EDUCATION TEACHER:  Louis, well, he fell, and his tooth was completely extracted, there’s blood everywhere…

ME: You’re kidding, right?

PHYSICAL EDUCATION TEACHER: NO, I wish I was…

ME: I’ll tell you why this happened today, ti’s because I’M THE SUB.

Louis is OK, the dentist says that his tooth with grow in just fine.  Lets fast forward two hours.  The kids were working on an art project that involved scissors.  Yes, I said scissors.  I was talking to one student when I heard a girl yelp, “Ms. Sub! Ken cut his hair!!!!!”

WHAT THE F*CK.

I whipped around, and faced Ken.

Me: DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!?!

Ken: No….

Me: ARE YOU LYING TO ME?!?!?!??!!

Ken: I’m sorry!

Me: WHY WOULD YOU CUT YOUR HAIR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Ken: It was only a little!

….

How do you argue with that?

Fast forward to the end of the day:

Jenna and Marissa ask me to go to the bathroom, as they are buddies for the day.  I figure, sure, why not?

Jenna and Marissa come back from the bathroom, and it is nothing short of a hurricane,

Jenna: MS SUB!!!!!

Me: Yes, Jenna?

Jenna: Marissa, she like, LOOKED AT ME when I was going to the bathroom!

Me: Jenna, Marissa is barely three feet tall, I’m sure she couldn’t have been able to see you going to the bathroom.

Jenna: NU-UH!!!! She STOOD on the STALL and LOOKED AT ME GOING TO THE BATHROOM!!!!

Me: Marissa, you cannot LOOK at someone going to the bathroom. Do you understand?

Marissa: Yes ma’am.

Me: Now say you’re sorry to Jenna.

Marissa: I’m sorry, Jenna.

I MEAN, I’m just not cut out for this.  I feel like the female version of Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Kindergarten Cop.

I’ve always had the utmost respect for teachers in general, after all, my parents are teachers.  I’ve seen the passion that they’ve devoted to their careers, and I’m proud to be the child of two teachers.  That being said, my parents are high school teachers.  Elementary school teachers are angels on earth. I AM a teacher, and I LOVE CHILDREN, and yet, I couldn’t do it.

I take my hat off to you all.

xo

Ms. Sub

 

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Filed under Education, Giggle

Part sub – part teach – part locomotion

I wonder if there will be a day when I can actually teach at one school, have health insurance, and make a decent paycheck.  Let’s be clear that I’m not looking for a short cut, an “easy job”, or anything of the sort.  I went to school for four years.  I went to an unbelievably expensive graduate school for another two.  (Did anyone twist my arm on that? No. But did I think it would be almost IMPOSSIBLE to find a full-time job teaching? NO.)  I followed the rules.  I did what I was supposed to do.  I put THE TIME IN…and yet…well, part sub/part-teach/part loco…motion?

I will be subbing in a new district soon. Joy.

I am teaching part-time, and that actually does give me true joy.

I will constantly be writing, moving, and looking for ways to keep my head above water.  Constant movement is the name of the game people!

One day, I will look back on this and laugh.

One day…

XO

Ms. Sub 

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Filed under College, Education, Perspective, the future

Eleventh Stack Revelations….

Hello Friends!
While reading the Freshly Pressed articles today, I came across two amazing blogs, Eleventh Stack and Helen Abraham Photography. Be sure to check them out!
xo

Ms. Sub

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Filed under Education, Inspiration

FOR ALL YOU TEACHER HATERS, CHECK THIS OUT…;)

Teachers’ hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work 9 or 10 months per year! It’s time we put things into perspective and pay them for what they do – babysit!

We can get that for minimum wage.

That’s right. Let’s give them $3.00 an hour and only the hours they worked; not any of that silly planning time, or any time they spend before or after school. That would be $19.50 a day (7:45 to 3:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch and plan–that equals 6 1/2 hours). Each parent should pay $19.50 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their children. Now how many students do they teach in a day…maybe 30? So that’s $19.50 x 30 = $585.00 a day. However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! I am not going to pay them for any vacations. LET’S SEE…. That’s $585 X 180= $105,300 per year. (Hold on! My calculator needs new batteries). What about those special education teachers and the ones with Master’s degrees? Well, we could pay them minimum wage ($7.75), and just to be fair, round it off to $8.00 an hour. That would be $8 X 6 1/2 hours X 30 children X 180 days = $280,800 per year.

Wait a minute — there’s something wrong here! There sure is! The average teacher’s salary (nation wide) is $50,000. $50,000/180 days = $277.77/per day/30 students=$9.25/6.5 hours = $1.42 per hour per student–a very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even EDUCATE YOUR kids and undo the damage that YOU caused!) WHAT A DEAL!!!!

Make a teacher smile; re-post this to show appreciation for all educators ♥

 

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Filed under Education, Inspiration, Perspective

And so it begins…WELCOME BACK SUBSTITUTES!

So, during Superintendent Conference Day, the faculty was asked to “listen” to students when they get out of hand, rather than “reprimand”.  We are to “ignore” outbursts.

SO…if a child decides to tell you to “F*#k off,” you are to ask the child, “Now, why did you say that? Can’t we think of something nicer to say?”

 

Oh my, my, my….

xo 

Ms. Sub

 

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Filed under Disrespectful, Education, Incompetence

It is Labor Day Weekend!!!

It is the Sunday of Labor Day weekend, 2011.  Many of you are going back to school Tuesday or Wednesday, and I must ask you…

are you ready???

To all my colleagues, I do hope that this school year brings you joy.  I hope you find fulfillment in the classroom. I hope your headaches are few and far between.

xo

Ms. Sub

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

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Filed under Education, Perspective, the future